It is Masturbation May. I have no idea who comes up with these things or if they’re real, but it’s a thing, Masturbation May. I mean, I will jump onboard anything to celebrate masturbation. So, I thought I would make a post about Masturbation Hacks. So, I have 10 masturbation hacks, tips, tricks, advice about masturbation for you.

They are mostly aimed at people with vulva because that is what I have and that is what I know best. But a lot of these tips are more general and can be applied to everybody, whatever your genitals. Yet! Let’s do this.

Number one is give yourself time and set the scene. You don’t want to be rushed because if you’re rushed, you might feel stressed to, like, reach orgasm, and then, if you’re stressed, like, it’s less likely to happen. And, so, just time, allow yourself to have enough time to, like, really enjoy it and not worry about that end goal, and just enjoy the process. And, also, part of that is, like, setting the scene. So, candles, if you fancy, mood lighting, music, whatever you want to do to get yourself in the mood.

The way that you would seduce a partner if you want to have sex,you know, seduce yourself. Get yourself in the mood, pamper yourself, love yourself. I feel like, very like, amah. I mean, as much as it is really easy, and a lot of us do just(claps), you know, bash one out. It is really important to also take your time with it and make an event of it.

Privacy Masturbation


Oh yeah, privacy. Can we all agree that masturbation is best when you know that no one else is home, unless you’re someone that likes the risk of potentially getting caught? But, for me personally, knowing that nobody is home and, so, if I want to watch porn. I can play it loudly and don’t have to, like, worry about headphones or anything. There is a certain freedom and a liberty to being alone, completely alone, and having that private time.

Lock your doors, close your curtains, mm. Number three, wet your finger by licking it. When you first start touching yourself, your vagina might not have produced that much wetness and can take a while for, like, the blood to start rushing down there, so just, like, give your finger a little lick. Also, lubrication, use it when you masturbate too. It’s great, or you can get little lubes like this. Which are like clit sensitizers, which are meant to, like, tingle.

Directly for the Clitoris

You can get ones that, like, produce heat and can make it, like, hot down there. Yeah, lube. begin with soft touches. Don’t have to go director the vagina or, like, directly for the clitoris. Like, soft touches around your inner thigh and your labia, and, you know, just tease yourself and allow that blood to start to rush down there before you, like, go in for the bulls eye or anything. It can just help get your mind in the mood and your body in the mood, so it’s like, oh, this is happening, okay. And, taking your time with it, and doing all those soft touches and building it up can increase the pleasure in general because you’ve, like, built it and built it, and you’ve teased yourself.

Number five, mix it up. Our bodies can get into a bit of a routine when it comes to masturbation, and sex, and pleasure. That it remembers the last time it came, or the first time it came, and it’s like, oh, that’s how all that happens. And then, if you, like, keep doing it that one way, then your body kind of, like, learns that way. It’s really difficult for it to (clicks tongue) switch and learn other ways to find pleasure, and have orgasms, and enjoy all of the wonders that our body does. So, mix it up.

Sometimes use porn, sometimes use your imagination, sometimes use your fingers, sometimes use toys. They’re so soft, I love silicone so much. (slow buzzing) (fast buzzing) (slow buzzing) (fast buzzing) (slow buzzing) (jerky buzzing) Whoa, my fingers. (laughs) Number six, kind of in the same vein but, experiment.

Experiment with Positions

You don’t just have to masturbate lying down on your back. You can masturbate in doggy style, standing up, upside down, sitting down, lying on your front. You can also experiment with location, on your bed, on the floor, on the sofa, in the shower, in the bath. Who knows? It’s great, and again, you can experiment with different kinds of toys that do different things, and are for different body parts.

You can also try things like this, like these Keel things, where you put them inside you. Number seven, don’t just focus on your vulva. You have two hands. Uh-huh, uh-huh. So, one hand can be down there doing all that stuff, this other hand can be caressing your boobs, your bum, your thighs, the rest of your body, your hair, grabbing hold of things. I don’t know, two hands, use them.

Engage your core. Use those abdominal, abdominal, abdominal, abdominal, abdominal muscles. (laughs) I don’t know, it just helps. You’re tense, tense, tense, tense, tense, tense. (whispers) Relax. Number nine, don’t force an orgasm. If you’re like (claps), you know, (claps) bashing it, attacking your clit,and you’re just stressed and you’re not getting there, and you, like, feel like you’re on the brink but it’s just like you’re not going over, you’re just like, erg, why? Stop. Stop, and breathe, and start again with those genital touches. It’s totally fine to not come, and just accept that that’s not going to happen, and just slow it down and enjoy the pleasure in the moment, but I always find that if you’re, like, at that point and you’re like, amah, stop and start again.

Learned from Website

A lot of you will probably have heard of it, basically a database and collection of loads of women talking about how they masturbate, and they’ve got videos of them masturbating whilst they talk about how I like to touch here and then touch here, and doing a bit of this, and this motion, and this kind of pressure, and diddle-dada-dada. And, it is fascinating, oh, my God. I have learned so much from this website. It’s like an interactive vulva,that you can use your mouse and touch whilst the woman, who just told you about how she does it, it’s like, yes, and then do it like this, and this is how I do it and, amah! It is an amazing website and I would highly recommend checking it out.

Alright, so those are my 10 Masturbation Hacks. I hope some of them have given you a little inspiration. Please give this post thumbs up if you enjoyed it, and if you’ve got any of your own masturbation hacks and tips and advice, or whatever, please leave them in the comments and we can all help each other out. It’s Masturbation May, when else are we going to scream from the rooftops and talk about masturbation? I mean, all the time, we should talk about it all the time, but specifically in May, apparently. Okay, don’t forget to subscribe because I make new posts every week, and I’ll see you soon.

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